And the beat goes on...

I fear my life has become boring. I'm like a stay at home mom with no kids and no Oprah. Steven J. Thompson told me he had to take a break half through the first season of Dexter because it started to disturb him. I made it through to the season finale within 3 days so now I'm worried that something is wrong with my soul. Not to say I wasn't disturbed. I guess the equation I performed went something like b>d where b=boredom and d=disturbance and coincidentally looks a lot like the word bed which is probably where I would have spent a lot more time if I hadn't watched so much t.v. Ironically I'm also reading a book on 4 arguments for the elimination of television. I'm reading it very slowly so I don't become convinced too quickly.

I don't know why I can't sleep. Tongues of Fire is tomorrow night and it is also the release of winter issue of Sparks which I am published in. How thrilling for me. I'm more proud of the "about the poet" blurb I wrote for myself than the poem that is in it. My blurb reads:

"Kristy Westendorp is originally from Regina so she has primarily worked in limerick in the past. She spends her days working with children, taking psychology classes, photographing beautiful things and thinking about you."

I think maybe I can't sleep because I have a headache but the only aspirin we have has caffeine in it to help get rid of headaches. Seems rather counter-productive to take any more at this point.

We spent a good portion of the evening looking at baby names. As long as I steer our dear girl as far away from "Mythica" as I can I'll save this child from countless random acts of playground violence. Making the list are Juniper, Willow, Zakyla and a few others. Since Juno is from Saltspring she has some amazing stories about random hippies. She knows a guy named Blueberry who is always high and always at the nude beach and another guy who lives in the forest with his two year old son "Balthazar" who was conceived at a rainbow party which apparently involves drugs and sex. I'm going to have to start keeping my notebook handy to jot down these stories as I hear them because this stuff is gold.

Well, it's almost 1:30 and I have a psych. lab at some point tomorrow so I should try to get some sleep. Davis got good news at a meeting today that he's on a short list to be moved to the CPP team at the end of March which is great because the contract on his current project is up in June. He's also going to get his bilingual certification which means more money too. What was I saying about bed? Oh yeah, I'm going to go there...now. Thanks for reading dear friend!

Yoga Hangover

This morning I decided to go back to Bikram yoga for another go. I tried it out almost two years ago with Kelly and decided against it because it was too expensive. I remembered it being challenging but I had followed along throughout the class to my recollection. This was different. The heat hit me as soon as we got into the breathing exercises. I ended up having to take child's pose through a good portion of the class just to stay in the room. My vision and hearing got distorted at different parts of the class. I think it may have been that I didn't drink enough water before hand and maybe that I hadn't eaten but it was ridiculous.

Anyway...moving past how pathetic I am. Davis and I watched mom and Keith's kids again tonight and it was fun except that the baby had immunizations yesterday and he wasn't too happy for a good chunk of the night.

That's all I really have to write about right now I just thought you might find it funny to picture me red faced and sweaty trying not to pass out amongst the willowy ballerinas at yoga. (you know...the ones that have a space between their thighs...bitches) It's pretty funny. Now I'm nursing a hot yoga hangover with a headache probably from dehydration. Oh and the room *stinks* so bad of sweat. They have carpets in the studio--how disgusting is that? I think I"ll stick to Ashtanga if I go back to yoga at Yoga Shala or maybe go to jazzercise or just start walking or maybe eat a million cookies and sit on my couch and get fatter. Who knows what the future holds? For now I'm going to sleep but I love you dearly dear reader. Thanks for stopping by.

Babysitting and Big Brother.

Last night was a lot of fun. Davis played with Baby X, the 6 month old at mom's house who I'm pretty sure Davis is going to try to steal soon. If/when this baby goes up for adoption we are going to seriously think about taking him because he's such a sweetie and Davis really does love him so much. Last night they layed together on the couch and baby went to sleep and Davis just looks and smiles at him and says things like "you're such a cute sleepy little baby man aren't you?" to him. It's quite adorable. All went well otherwise and we're going to go back out probably Tuesday to watch the kids again for a few hours so Mom and Keith can spend some time together.

We got our new Shaw phone hooked up but it isn`t working very well so they`re supposed to be coming out sometime today to change our modem so I have to be in the area for that. I am also going to try to get some homework done. I dropped my 8:30 am course because I was late handing in an assignment and the midterm is tomorrow and I haven`t even read the play that is on the midterm. I didn`t feel like I had a huge chance to catch up and then my instructor all but confirmed that when I asked her her opinion but then when I responded that I liked the course but I thought it was best if I drop it to salvage my average her response (a week later) was that she had hoped to see me in class on Thursday to talk with me and to see her if I was still registered in the course and wanted to try to catch up. Anyway, I don`t want to go to school that early so I`m pretty relieved. Now I just have a lecture Tuesday at 10:30 and a lab Thursday afternoon and my other class is online.

So if you want an article to make you glad you don`t live in the States here it is. *Ring* `It`s Big Brother...it`s for you.` I find it almost amusing that Bush is trying to get a bill passed to make it legal for the government to do what they`re already doing. My favourite quote from Bush was "Our government told them that their participation was necessary, and it was, and it still is, and that what we had asked them to do was legal. And now they're getting sued for billions of dollars. And it's not fair." First of all you can just hear the whining in `It`s not faaaaair....` second of all he`s essentiall saying `we lied to the phone companies and told them what we were doing was legal...back us up Congress!` This is why I find conspiracy theories so fascinating because the US government is doing so much shady stuff out in the open to worry about before we even start to imagine what they`re doing behind closed doors.

Anyway, that`s my two cents for a Monday morning. I better get back to knitting. Thanks for reading.

Welcome to my house, a.k.a. Noah's Ark

So just to update everyone on the contents of my zoo. My house now contains 3 and 1/2 people, (including an unborn baby) two fish, two cats, a dog, a snake and a bunny. Oh Lordy. I spent a good portion of the day knitting and just took a little trip to Value Village to pick up so clothes that will accommodate Juno's ever growing belly. The trip was successful and I even found a dress that will probably work for my sister's wedding.

Tonight Davis and I are going over to my mom's place for a few hours so that she and Keith can get a break from taking care of 4 kids. I love spending time with their kids. Especially 5 year old Sunny (not her real name but definitely suits her) because she says the most adorable things. The other day she was over and my mom said "Tell Kristy what you want to do when you grow up." She said "I want to work with nature to find it a good home." I looked to my mom for clarification and she said "We've been driving past the logging by Bear Mountain and Sunny said 'When I grow up I want to work in nature except I don't think there will be any nature left. I think it'll all be gone so I'm going to help the animals find new homes once their's are gone.'" Wow...from the mouths of babes they say. I'm pretty sad about all of the trees being torn down out there myself but she put it pretty succinctly I'd say. When I told her I was coming over tonight to hang out with her she said "Oh good...I can't sleep without you." Too cute.

Anyone else enjoying the warmer weather? I'm so glad I live on the Island. Sun is shining, the flowers are already starting to come up and I can already feel that I have more energy since the days are getting longer. Well..get out there and enjoy the sunshine! Thanks for reading.

Getting to know you...

Conversations from Stitch and Bitch are the funniest you will ever hear. Anywhere. Period. Such as this gem. Names have been omitted to protect the innocent.

Person 1: So, you know how you're always saying I *don't* have a big vagina and I'm just making that up?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Yeah, well I went for a pap smear today and even the doctor said I had a big cervix.
Person 2: Is the cervix the hole?
Person 1: No....your cervix is inside of you.
Me: I think you might need one of those "learning about your body" books they give to teenagers.
Person 2: Yeah, well when I went for a pap smear the doctor said my cervix was off to one side and tilted
Me: And...you still thought it was the hole?
Person 2: Well...that's why I was confused.

We watched the worst movie ever last night--The Lakehouse with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. It involves a time warp mail box that sends letters to the guy who lived where she lives but two years ago to the day. It is stupid. Don't see it.

Juno moved in today. (I'm going to keep calling her that since I can't use her real name or personal details for confidentiality's sake but I still want to keep people updated on my life) So far that's going really well. She came with us to Nicole's house for Stephen's birthday. Then she stayed home while we went to the Salmon King's game. It was a super fun game. End score six to nothing. I knitted throughout the game. I might be one hundred years old but at least I'm creating something.

Oh...today I'm a little more famous than I was yesterday. I was *recognized*. Seriously...some guy I don't know said he had seen me a few times and my poetry is "awesome". Cool. Well that's about it for now. I love you all and thanks so much for reading.

Thought of the day. (not deep)

Did you ever notice that in movies people who live in New York always live in the coolest apartments that you know there is no way they could afford with their job? I did.

Cartwheel Bouquet

I did not go to school today. I stayed home and did more schoolwork than I ever do when I actually go to school. I wrote two papers and read a whole chapter of psych. I also vacuumed. Feel free to be impressed. Oh and I also just thought of a beautiful phrase: "cartwheel bouquet". It doesn't mean anything; I just like how it sounds. Say it out loud. I might use it for something but I don't know what.

Anyway, I'm now feeling a sense of accomplishment so I'm taking a break to watch a couple episodes of Dead Like Me. Our resource worker canceled out meeting this afternoon which is nice because I don't have to frantically make my house spotless even though we already cleaned quite a bit last night. I have to admit Davis did most of the cleaning while I frantically worked on a past due paper.

Our new girl moves in tomorrow. I'm actually pretty excited. I feel like Davis and I have had a sufficient break at this point and we're well rested and ready to welcome someone new into our family. That's all I have to say for now. Thanks for reading.

Time flies...

Sunday evening already? How the weekend does fly by. Friday night we had Kelly and Ben over for Lotus Pond and another round of Juno. Last night we watched my friend Nicole's two year old son Stephen and after I paid him to take off his jacket and stop crying at the door (seriously) he had us laughing and laughing. Here are a couple videos...



Davis got his bicep workout for the evening throwing Stephen up into the air again and again. Stephen then thought it looked fun to throw things in the air so he started throwing a dog bone around. Frightening.

Davis did a "magic" trick and pulled a penny out from behind Stephen's ear. This confused Stephen and he stood there holding his ear for quite some time before Davis then got him doing the magic trick with the magic ring.



Today we enjoyed the beautiful weather by going to the beach with Sean and Lyle. Now we're bumming around watching movies curled up on the couch. We have a busy week ahead as our new placement is moving in probably Wednesday evening so we still have a few things to do to get ready for that and we have a meeting with our resource worker Tuesday afternoon and I have to go to school, do homework and live normal life still. Yawn. I better go to bed early tonight.

Props to my poetry peeps.

Oh yeah...shoot.

Alex's letter to his nether regions.

Shayne's poetry turned rambling turned poetry featuring Strong Cottonwood on the beatbox.

That is all. Thanks for *watching* wink.

Hey everybody- it's the weekend!

Relaxing day today! Davis was on "vacation" so that he'd be able to meet our girl at noon. The meeting went well and we're talking about going ahead with a move-in date for mid-week of this week coming up. She seems sweet and really excited to live with us which is great. Hopefully all will go as planned.

As promised the video from last night is up and running on YouTube. Hope you enjoy it and overlook any mistakes we made. We had fun!

Tonight Kelly and Ben are going to come over for movies and junk food. We're also supposed to be going out to Lotus Pond but they are taking FOREVER grocery shopping so I am getting pretty hungry these days. For now I'm sitting around watching Six Feet Under. I'm on Season 2. Thanks for reading!

Tongues of Fibre

Just a brief note to say I had a lovely Valentine's Day. I actually got flowers and chocolate! Sounds so cliche but just so me to get pink gerbera daisies and vegan sugar free baked goods from Green Cuisine. Davis is a sweetheart! I got him the Knocked Up dvd which has lots of extra which he loves.

We made our way over to Solstice for our evening and our performance was pretty decent. We screwed up a couple times but we were pretty nervous. I should have a video up tomorrow'ish. Highlights of the night...

1. After we sang our song Shayne (also the birthday boy tonight) came up to me and gave me one of his patented bear hugs and said "Did you know that's my favourite song ever? You just made my night!" I said I hoped we hadn't destroyed it and he said not at all so that was a good sign.

2. Another Shayne moment. Everyone always asks me what my tattoo means. Shayne walked past and touched it and said "A love gun. Cool."

3. When our tofu-eggplant sandwich came it had a note on it from Jolene that said "You guys are awesome" and a drawing of us- me with a guitar and little music notes coming off.

4. Marina brought me a bag of cinnamon and conversation hearts. So sweet!

5. Ryefield's condom analogy for reading poetry vs. reciting it..."The paper is like having a condom between you and your audience. You're not going to contract anything from the people who are listening." Davis: "You might get pregnant though...with new ideas!" No wonder I love this guy!

6. Dani's piece. Effing mind blowing. Forgot to record it but will definitely be forcing her to do it again because it was sooooooo powerful!

Alright, at 2:45 am I best be getting to sleep. Davis and I are meeting our potential new roomy at noon. PEACE LOVE and THANKS for reading!

I'm still alive.

Well after two weeks of not writing after a pretty discouraging post I better throw something up here so that y'all don't think I killed myself! I was feeling down and directionless last time I posted here but since then things have started to come together. Davis and I took a little trip to Vancouver which was a welcome break from everything. We were planning on just going for the day the Sunday before last but ended up missing the last ferry and crashing at a hotel on Granville. I meant to blog about our little adventure in more detail but it's been so long now it's a little blurry. We spent some time with Kristel and Graeme and Kristel's little sister Ashley who is just a sweetheart.

If any of you haven't seen me recently I have changed my hairstyle. It looks a little like this...



In other news...tomorrow is Valentine's Day. This will be my third Valentine's Day with Davis. Our first one I made dinner for us and...well that was about it. Last year we bought a couch and spent the whole evening moving it. Pretty hard to top those adventures but we're going to try! This year we're going to make dinner or go out for dinner or something and then go to Tongues of Fire where we will be singing a duet! Yes, you read that right! We're going to be performing Anyone Else But You which you may know from a little film of Juno.

Speaking of Juno...we have decided to continue fostering but shift into another direction with it. (Just wait for it, my segue way will make sense any second now) We're meeting the girl on Friday and then deciding for sure if we think we would be a good resource for her. She's 16 and about 6 months pregnant. (see...told you it would eventually make sense!) This will be a totally different level of support and Davis and I will still be able to go out on our own without having to get a babysitter. (Well at least until the baby is born in May and then we'll have to judge how much support she needs in caring for the infant) This girl is already set up with a lot more supports than we had offered to us previously. We've also had a lot of positive feedback from the professionals who were working with us on our previous placement so that has made us feel better.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'm feeling good though and the sun is shining today. Smile! Thanks for reading.

Decisions, decisions...

Well...nothing's definite yet but I think we're done with fostering. We have felt underappreciated and such a lack of support and I think we need to just admit we've done all we can for right now but the system is just too much to be up against. Chelsea said it best...(as usual)...

"Rewarding I'm sure, but I imagine also fraught with incredible anxiety. You are at the mercy of a system that seems, from an outsider's perspective, at its best a maddening hoop-jumping bureaucracy and at its worst a loose collection of ambivalent, finger-pointing bystanders who are not making the appropriate resources available in a timely way that honours your commitment"

So the future is looking pretty blurry but for now our foster daughter has been moved to another resource and we have a break for at least the weekend. I actually feel really excited about what it means if we stop fostering because I have missed having the freedom to make plans and not have them hinge on what kind of a mood a 10 year old is in or having to decide which of us gets to go out with friends while the other stays home. I also feel disappointed that this is how it's ending. (If indeed it does end here) So basically I'm a ball of mixed emotions and I don't know anything for sure. Well I do know if I'm not able to help this child or help children through fostering that I will still be working with kids and at the very least doing relief work for my mom. So this evening has featured Davis and I sitting around eating Thai food and watching "Dead like Me" (Great show) and now he is going to the store to get us some ice-cream. I could really use encouragement from my friends right now so if you're out there feel free to throw in your two-cents. Anyway, I'll leave it at that for now what a fun Friday night this has been. Thanks.