A UK design consultant has designed a that is powered by a hamster running on a wheel. Granted, the hamster has to run for 45 minutes to shred just one piece of paper so I don't see this catching on in offices anytime soon but it's all worth it when you open the cage and he croaks out "It's a living..." Now all I want is an elephant to spray my dishes clean and I'll be happy.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Top Five people in our condo building in 2008
5. The lady who hates us because her eight year old son is afraid of dogs.
4. The guy with the pit bull who called his dog a fag for sniffing our dog's butt.
3. The kids next door who lock each other out of the houseewhen their parents aren't home.
2. The woman who lives next door who is always simultaneously crying and yelling.
1. The chubby teenage boy who smokes pot with his friends under our window
4. The guy with the pit bull who called his dog a fag for sniffing our dog's butt.
3. The kids next door who lock each other out of the houseewhen their parents aren't home.
2. The woman who lives next door who is always simultaneously crying and yelling.
1. The chubby teenage boy who smokes pot with his friends under our window
Top five dining out experiences of 2008
5. May Gold Village, not for food value but entertainment- where Langford stars come out to shine.
4. Falafel Town (or something like that) at 2:00 in the morning when we missed our Ferry and had an unexpected hotel stay. There was a fabulous Greek queen working and we really bonded with him. He even gave us a free dolmade. That's love.
3. Solstice Cafe for their smoked tofu with eggplant sandwich. Really, the best meal you can get for under $10 in Victoria.
2. Little Thai Place- can't wait for the new location to open in Langford!
1. Mole raw tasting menu- during our 30 days raw.
4. Falafel Town (or something like that) at 2:00 in the morning when we missed our Ferry and had an unexpected hotel stay. There was a fabulous Greek queen working and we really bonded with him. He even gave us a free dolmade. That's love.
3. Solstice Cafe for their smoked tofu with eggplant sandwich. Really, the best meal you can get for under $10 in Victoria.
2. Little Thai Place- can't wait for the new location to open in Langford!
1. Mole raw tasting menu- during our 30 days raw.
Top five hot beverages of 2008
5. Sleepytime Tea
4. Apple Cinammon Neo-citran
3. Peppermint Tea
2. Almond milk latte with vanilla syrup from Habit
1. Homemade coffee in the morning
4. Apple Cinammon Neo-citran
3. Peppermint Tea
2. Almond milk latte with vanilla syrup from Habit
1. Homemade coffee in the morning
Saturday, December 20, 2008
This week in crap pop lyrics...
If I Were A Boy lyrics
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Steve asked me for help writing a bio. He knows me and has read bio's I've written for others so he must have expected jokes in return but I still feel like he might not use much of what I've written here so I thought I would publish it elsewhere so others can bask in my funniness. The last one is basically what he sent me expect with a joke added at the beginning. Well...I had fun doing it.
Option 1: "Steven J. Thompson is a steel driving man. A poor mountaineer who keeps his family fed. With words. When he isn't working hard, he is writing poetry. He doesn't have to work hard to do that, he just smokes a joint, grabs a pen and lets the words flow. That's what poets do. Steven is one of the founding members of Tongues of Fire, a local bi-monthly spoken word event in Victoria, B.C. where he resides with his beautiful wife and strange looking dog. A two time member of the Victoria Slam team, he will be taking a break this year to act as festival director for the Canadian Festival of Spoken Word. But enough about Steve, what are you up to later? Care for a drink?"
Options 2: "Stephen J. Thompson started his illustrious spoken word career at the age of ten months with his first piece aptly titled"mama goo goo." He quickly developed a large following within close family and friends who would gather around to see Steven perform, often in the nude. Since then Steven has gone on to perform naked poetry in front of much larger crowds, as well as co-founding Tongues of Fire, a bi-weekly spoken word event in Victoria, B.C. and competing nationally as a member of the Victoria Slam Team. This year Steve takes a break from the competition to act as director for the Canadian Festival of Spoken Word. Rumors of Steven's alleged sexual relationship with Stephen Harper have been greatly exaggerated."
Option 3: "Steven J. Thompson has a knack for arranging letters in such a manner that when spoken in combination sound very much like poetry. So much so that he has represented Victoria at the Canadian Slam Nationals not once, but twice. This year he will be organizing the festival as acting director. When not organizing festivals, Steve can be found at Tongues of Fire, a bi-weekly Spoken Word event which he co-founded. When not performing, organizing festivals or founding poetry collectives he rides the rails, better known as 'Boxcar" J. Thompson: the gentleman's hobo.' "
Options 2: "Stephen J. Thompson started his illustrious spoken word career at the age of ten months with his first piece aptly titled"mama goo goo." He quickly developed a large following within close family and friends who would gather around to see Steven perform, often in the nude. Since then Steven has gone on to perform naked poetry in front of much larger crowds, as well as co-founding Tongues of Fire, a bi-weekly spoken word event in Victoria, B.C. and competing nationally as a member of the Victoria Slam Team. This year Steve takes a break from the competition to act as director for the Canadian Festival of Spoken Word. Rumors of Steven's alleged sexual relationship with Stephen Harper have been greatly exaggerated."
Option 3: "Steven J. Thompson has a knack for arranging letters in such a manner that when spoken in combination sound very much like poetry. So much so that he has represented Victoria at the Canadian Slam Nationals not once, but twice. This year he will be organizing the festival as acting director. When not organizing festivals, Steve can be found at Tongues of Fire, a bi-weekly Spoken Word event which he co-founded. When not performing, organizing festivals or founding poetry collectives he rides the rails, better known as 'Boxcar" J. Thompson: the gentleman's hobo.' "
Option 4: "Stephen J. Thompson is probably best known for having his ass broadcast on local cable while reading poetry. His next most impressive accomplishment would be writing this bio. Himself. No help at all. Certainly no use of a talented and large-breasted ghost writer. After that, in order, I would say...two time member of the Victoria National poetry slam team, Co-founder of Tongues of Fire poetry collective, director of the 2009 Canadian Festival of Spoken Word, took part in the 2007 CBC Poetry Face-Off, articles have appeared in Monday Magazine and 11th Transmission. Cull what you need to starting from least significant."
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